17 December 2006

What Your Oiler Boyfriend Says About You: Coach Edition

A girl whose heart belongs to MacT appreciates the finer things in life. She is always dressed to the nines but, though she may look like a lady, she's no stranger to salty language. When driving, she eschews her seatbelt -- fear of injury is a foreign concept. Her favourite movie is Slapshot, primarily because she fantasizes about Reggie Dunlop.

A lady who loves Huddy is clearly turned on by a strong plus/minus rating. As such, she may be mathematically-minded and have a job that requires her to use a calculator on a regular basis. No metrosexuals for this girl -- she prefers "real" men and is probably into traditional gender roles when it comes to relationships. Her favourite movie is Die Hard because John McClane is so very hot.

A woman who digs Craig Simpson is strangely drawn to real estate advertisements, and therefore loves to ride public transit. When eating with a group, she enjoys passing the salt around the table five or six times before actually using it on her food. When she finally does so, she often misses her plate and has to again pass the shaker around the table before attempting a second try. Her favourite film is Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie because Sonic equals teh hottness!!1!1!!

A chick who's crushing on Bill Moores is modest and embarassed by the spotlight. Bill's faceoff expertise turns her on because she appreciates the importance of seemingly simple things in the grand scheme of it all. She may also have a daddy complex. Her favourite movie is The Wizard of Oz because the mysterious wizard is like whoa.

10 comments:

Jordi said...

We need you to spread MacT hotness on the hlog. I mean if you aint doing it, I may have to.

Anonymous said...

HAHAH fabulous, the craig simpson one is bang-on. sonic the hedgehog - i knew he resembled something.....

Graham said...

what about Billy Moores????

Alana said...

Graham, I was hoping that no one would notice. Billy is a tough one! I've added him just for you.

Lowetide said...

Classic stuff. The Simpson line made me spit coffee.

Anonymous said...

Golden, Alana, golden!

Anonymous said...

i think a bill moores woman would also be anal about wasting food, and would thus be attracted to bill's full-on flavour saver, ie. his moustache

Julian said...

What about Pete Peters?

And surely you can come up with something for Geoff Ward?

Anonymous said...

It's Huddy for me.... and I like Die Hard because of Alan Rickman. :)

foxy

uni said...

That Craig Simpson verse was pure gold; comedic genius!