25 December 2007

Last year I said I got this for Christmas - but in the end, I didn't.

This year, my best friend made up for it.

Merry Christmas!
P.S. I blame all the people who voted Ales to win the hot-off as the reason for his recent injury.

The hot-off curse begins! Here we go 2008!

21 December 2007

We have FINALS






 


You know the drill...

Shout at the Devils!

Back in the land of oil and honey for a few days, I managed to score tickets to tonight's tilt against the Devils of New Jersey. And I will make a point of shout, shout, shouting at them. The Prez is gonna be there too, so we'll be holding our annual Hot Oil Symposium during the second intermission behind some garbage cans under section 118. Motions will be passed, makeovers will be done, and Oiler-related swooning will ensue. Or something. Anyways, I GOTS OILER TICKETS! GO! OIL!

20 December 2007

Semi-finals, part deux.


The Favourite

The Underdog


VOTE OVER. 

The Results

Hemsky: 84
Moreau: 70
Anonymous votes (don't count): 5
Ulanov (and it wasn't me): 1

There will be a new Hot Off Champion in town.

15 December 2007

I need to count those votes.



But instead I'm writing about visiting Edmonton. That's right folks, the Loxy is in the Edmonton. For 3 nights only! Last night, I visited this fun dueling piano bar called Ivory something-or-other. In the crowd was local celebrity and stealer of the term "Scorcoff", Gene Principe.

I would've taken a picture of him doing dirty dances with a blonde lady, but by that time, the place had cleared out pretty much and I would've looked like a paparazzi. I should've talked to him. I should've accused him of stealing our word. I was not a very good investigative journalist!

Next time, Principe, next time.

07 December 2007

SEMI-FINALS! OMG!

We're down to the final four Hot-Off contenders: Moreau, Hemsky, Staios (WTF?), and Souray. Today's matchup pits a Czech against a Chopper. A propensity to pass against a propensity to collect freak injuries. Who's it going to be? VOTE NOW.

MOREAU

HEMSKY


Ethan, de-throned!

05 December 2007

Three wins in a row!

Until this:  

01 December 2007

Last Round of the Quarter Final!

Evidence that we have slipped into Bizarro Oil Country:

1) The Oil pulled a win out of their asses last night to defeat that douche CFP.
2) Moreau's wingman Staios managed to beat reasonably-attractive Marty Reasoner in the Hot-Off.

Me am not ready to end this week's ugly-contest!

Hockey-player-Souray am in perfect health and am have excellent minus-rating! Do not vote against Souray!

Hockey-player-Torres am not half-alive and am not unperplexed none of the time. Do not vote against Torres!

SOURAY LOSES!

26 November 2007

Hot Off: Marty vs. Macedonia




Marty skates at a 90 degree angle, but he's witty. Staios skates upright but has fewer points. Whose style strikes your fancy?

Holy hell. Staios Wins.

19 November 2007

It's about time for another face-off!

Dustin Penner - overweight and overpaid when he showed up to training camp. But there is a longing in those eyes, a brightness that shouts "hey guys, I already won a stanley cup, it's all downhill from here". And we long for better days.

Ethan Moreau - a man cursed with a beautiful face and a brittle body. He plays so hard, when he actually gets to play. Will this be another season where his grinding stride doesn't hit the ice? Maybe it's meant to be. He looks better in a suit.

Voting over. Moreau never tires of winning.

18 November 2007

An Ode to the Brode


A loser in the hot-off, but a winner in our hearts. Join the movement.

10 November 2007

Quarter Finals!

Slowly but surely, we're making our way toward the championship battle in the 2007 Hot-Off. As we close in on the Finals, the competition is getting more and more fierce. And by fierce, I mean like Tyra Banks, not like Tatiana the tiger.

In round 1 of the quarter-finals, we have Hemsky versus Brodziak. Which is sexier: neck-scars, or black eyes? VOTE NOW.












He might be a favorite of the ladies at Hot-Oil, but he's not your favorite. The Rod has been defeated.

Hemsky wins.

06 November 2007

It's official, the Oilers suck. Vote anyways.



You get the drill.

THE LITTLE BULL ADVANCES N A CLOSE ROUND! SORRY, PREZ.

03 November 2007

Dining in Style



My lovely friend (and fellow fan club executive member), Don E. Coyote, gave me this delightful lunch bag for my birthday.



It came with a small cardboard jersey and stickers to personalize the bag. The idea might have been to put one's own name here. No matter.

02 November 2007

Small town Alberta versus Small town Saskatchewan



This one will be close. The squee factor is high. Dreamy dimples or shiny hair? I don't care who wins this one. I'm just happy Ulanov made it into the second round, thanks to a win by default. Also, assists are sexy.


HIP HOP SOURAY! 

29 October 2007

I Hate You All.

Through Facebook campaigning, my boyfriend Dwayne Roloson has been ruthlessly cut from this competition, and I get the feeling that the rest of the Oil will fall to the same fate if these Marty-faithful Facebookers (who are not regular readers of this blog, may I add) are called to action each round. Which would be BORING. Shall we just call it a day and declare Marty the winner now?

If you don't think so, please feel free to vote in today's showdown. Sanderson versus Staios. This is the battle for the basement, folks, so vote wisely.













Staios says no to drugs and destroys Sanderson.

25 October 2007

Why do goalies always win? Another day of the Hot-Off.



Marty Reasoner: All substance, some style. Girls love a guy with a sense of humour, it's true!


Dwayne Roloson: Doesn't have an "A" on his jersey. But, Girls love a goalie.


This is a battle that divides the girls at Hot-Oil. But since I wrote the post, you can see which way it leans.

Vote for Marty. He would vote for you. And he wouldn't vote anonymously, cause he knows we don't count those votes.

SIGH. Marty wins, you dinks.

It's the Prez's birthday!


Topless Ulanov!

20 October 2007

How do you like your P? With an enner or an isani?

What's hotter? A -2 rating or serious gastrointestinal distress?
YOU DECIDE.











In other news, the roster page has finally been updated. The team is a lot smiley-er this year, so I'm guessing the photographer used a puppet of some sort. Overall, the photos are pretty good (Brodziak looks HOT, yo), but sweet mother of god what happened to Roy and Pouliot? Not even my junior high photo where I had a perm and braces was this bad.

In other other news, GOILERS!

No Poop for you. Penner wins.

18 October 2007

If they could see me now, that little gang of mine..

MacT's blender is a funny thing. First, you have to be lucky enough to get put in the blender. And then, after "liquify" and "frappe", sometimes Robbie Schremp comes out on top.

After failing to make the team coming out of camp, he managed a hot-oil hot-start in Springfield (has anyone made Simpsons jokes yet?) and now finds himself with a top spot, playing against a bottom team.

This is likely the best chance that Captain America will get all season. The expectations are low enough that he can meet them. The Oilers are desperate enough to give him significant playing time.

Good Luck!

Good hockey players skate on their feet!

Loves ya! Kiss Kiss!

17 October 2007

Captain Injury vs. Alternate



Shawn Horcoff has mismatched eyes. Ethan Moreau has no front teeth. Horcoff actually manages to play hockey once in a while. Morea looks like he's a religious man. Black gold! Texas tea! Vote now in the comments section!



Keep your filthy paws out of the anonymous bin.

ETHAN "DELICATE FLOWER" MOREAU WINS!

15 October 2007

That Day in 1983

Now that Robbie Schremp has deleted me from his facebook (Hi Rob! We know you're reading! Hope you learn to stay on your feet next game, kiddo), I'm ushering a new era of stealing photos, but giving credit for them. So, here are some finds from flickr, the photo sharing site. If you click on the photos, you'll actually see where I got them from! Huzzah!

Fact: Tom Gilbert is the same age as Ales Hemsky
Fact: Both are on the Oilers
Fact: Both are male
Fact: Both have lightish-coloured hair.
Question: Are they just the same person?

Tom "who is that Laddy guy anyways" Gilbert or Ales "my car is named after him" Hemsky?


A close call, but Hemsky still drives over Ulanov Gilbert.

Player of the week!

Too bad if he ever wants to be an Oiler again, he has to clear waivers again.

Your AHL player of the week...

Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor!


Or maybe the whole waivers thing is a scam... Here are Allan's comments (from the comments section):

13.3 Re-Entry Waivers. A Player who required Regular Waivers may not be Recalled without first clearing Re-Entry Waivers, in accordance with Section 50.9(g) of this Agreement.

50.9(g) Minor League Compensation. Neither the salaries nor signing bonuses paid to minor league Players shall be counted against a Club's Upper Limit or the Players' Share. For a Player on a One-Way NHL Contract or a Two-Way Contract with a Minor League Salary and compensation that could be earned in excess of the following amounts:
....
2007-2007: $100,000
....
the following rules shall apply:
....
(ii) To the extent the Player does require Waivers to be Loaned to a minor league affiliate, he cannot be Loaned or Recalled to the NHL parent Club during the same League Year without also clearing a new Re-Entry Waiver procedure, pursuant to which the Player can be claimed by another NHL Club for fifty percent of the contract's remaining amounts to be paid, with the balance to be paid by and charged to the waiving NHL Club....


Patrick Thoresen is on a two-way deal (any player under 25 has to sign a two way, entry-level deal), and the maximum minor-league compensation for recent drafts is well under the $100,000 cutoff (Article 9), so he should be exempt from re-entry waivers.

I'd love to have someone show me how I'm wrong, because I'm worried that this is another display of CBA-related incompetence by the Oilers, like "We can sign Kharamnov without drafting him" and "I didn't know the salary cap would go up."


13 October 2007

DingDingDing!

Welcome to Round 2! Up first we have two promising young 'uns who are ready to battle TO THE DEATH for your affection. Hot Oil favourite Brodziak is all like, "Bring it, Gagner," and Gagner is like, "Oh, I'll bring it. Don't worry," and Brodziak is all like, "I never do." IT"S ON! VOTE NOW!

HOT-ROD-ZIAK WINS

10 October 2007

I Love a Man in Uniform

My boyfriend Dwayne Roloson has been named an honorary police officer with the St. Paul Police. Rawr. So many dirty jokes; so little time.

*Thanks to courtney for the heads-up. Keep scrolling down to vote in the hot-off.

Moving right along...

Loxy is dead, y'all. At least, that's the only valid reason that I can come up with for her missing her turn posting the next hot-off battle. I'll understand if you need to take a moment to mourn her passing.



...



OKAY! We've made an executive decision to give a free pass to the remaining Oilers who are facing minor-league losers in the first round. Not making the team is decidedly not hot. As such, Roli, Sanderson, Staios, Stoll, Torres, and Ulanov (?) get pushed through. Rad? I thought so.

Hold your horses, there, kiddies -- we're not on to the second round just yet. I present to you: the epic battle of

SOURAY VERSUS TARNSTROM!












STOP! HE'S ALREADY DEAD! SOURAY WINS!

02 October 2007

Marc (sans Antoine) Pouliot vs. Marty Reasoner


Today's battle is between a pimply teenager and an extremely photogenic 3rd/4th line centre. The former appears to be trying to anglicise his name (or perhaps big JFJ "suggested" to him that only one man on the team may have a hyphenated name). The latter already has gone by the same name for quite some time. If you don't vote for Pouliot, he'll come to your house and give you mono. If you don't vote for Reasoner, a certain blogger may come to your house and put toothpaste on all of your doorknobs. Choose wisely.

NO CONTEST. REASONER!

Oh Captain, New Captain

Dear Oilers players,

Better looking people do prosper.

Signed,

The Fans

01 October 2007

Behind the Glasses

There was an extensive profile on superfox MacT in the Journal yesterday. It's an interesting read, if only for the shout-out to Hot Oil and its commenters:

Part of his local fame, with female fans at least, derives from his looks. Readers of the website Hot-Oil.blogspot.com recently voted him as the hottest Oiler in team history, dubbing him the Silver Fox. "Not only is he hot, he has the best vocabulary -- you'll always learn a new word listening to him (and oh, what a voice)," said one smitten fan.

"MacT has a George Clooney-esque deliciousness about him," wrote another.

There you have it -- MacT's hotness is officially news!

*A big thanks to Scarlett for the heads-up.

29 September 2007

Today's Battle is Brought to You by the Letter P!

'Nando may be sick, but I get the feeling he'll still give new kid Pitkanen a run for his money in today's showdown. What's your preference: lasagna, or ludefisk?


No Contest. Pants takes it.