31 May 2007

Unrestricted Free Hotness: Washington Caps

It's true! The Caps aren't composed entirely of gangly Russians, despite what the NHL marketing department might lead you to believe. Even so, are their UFAs hot enough to wear copper and blue? Let's find out.

On the Blueline:

Bryan Muir
Muir was an Oiler for about 3 seconds in the mid-nineties, and was eventually traded for Guerin. Excellent trade, I'd say -- particularly for the exponential increase in team hotness. This guy looks like somebody's boring uncle. You know the one -- he buys you shitty adult contemporary CDs at Christmas and won't let you drink soda in his car because you might spill. And he lived with your grandma until he was 30. I'm sure there are some ladies who would find all that sexy, but I am not one of them. Get out of here, Uncle Bryan!

Trying to Score:

Donald Brashear

As you can see, this notorious enforcer knows how to look hot, even when he's ruining McSorley's career, cheap-shotting some sucker, or sharpening his stick into a shiv. On the other hand, he's apparently kind of a dink. What wins out: muscles or douchebaggery? You decide!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anything that poses infront of the Sedin's is automatically hot. Damn those boys are uggggly.

D. said...

Again, meh and meh.

The Sedins are definitely not hot. It looks like their faces are permanently pinched.

Lady_Byng said...

Wow. Washington has nothing to offer. Pass.
Agreed with the fact that the Sedin (Bobbsy) twins are ugly mofo's.

Anonymous said...

The Sedins look like Beaker from the Muppets

court said...

I'll pass on both, thanks. Ish.

dawgbone said...

Brashear's chest looks like an arial shot of the day after a forest fire.

Scarlett said...

Someone needs to hide the ugly stick. Cause they're just waving it around haphazardly.

Anonymous said...

If I cover Brashears head, I think "hmmm... not bad, and nicely furred too". Not enough to get a vote from me though. Also my impression of his character is definitely negative.

Muir - nada as well.

Next team!
RoliLover