22 June 2007

Draft Day!

It's Draft Day! It's like Christmas, except with boys instead of presents! Let's unwrap what Uncle K.Lo got us in the first round, shall we?

Sam Gagner
Even though I suspect that Sam here was drafted solely because someone told K.Lo that Gagner means "to win" in French, management, er, managed not to screw this one up too badly. Despite the fact that he's a delicate flower who can't be away from his parents for more than 5 minutes, Gagner is kind of cute. Let's hope his momma can keep up with him on the ice in Edmonton.

Alex Plante
"Who?" Exactly. Not only is Plante so under-the-radar that he might actually be a figment of K.Lo's sugar-buzzed imagination, the kid sports some unfortunate Raffi-esque facial hair and I'm seriously concerned about what's happening on top of his head. Bad call, K.Lo. Maybe you should lay off the pop rocks and pixie stix before the draft next year.

Riley Nash
It's not good when the most interesting thing about a guy is the gorilla on his jersey. Aside from having a cool name and no soul, Nash here is about as bland as they come. I get the feeling K.Lo will be explaining this pick a year from now with, "he's really funny."

Since Can't Hardly Wait is playing on MuchMusic, starring mid-nineties dreamboats Seth Green and Ethan Embry, I'm just going to go ahead and switch away from the draft now that Edmonton's picks are done. Did someone order a LoveBurger? Well done.


Jesse said...

Actually Lowe is fluent in french, so he probably cracked that code all on his own.

Lady_Byng said...

I like the picking of Gagner, but who are these other two kids? I only heard about Plante from TSN'S mock draft, as the Oilers 3rd (30th) pick. Angelo Esposito was available at 15, and I'm sure Plante was still going to be there at 21, and Nash at 36 so why not go for Espo's kid at 15?
Oh well. Espo's going to have a helluva time in Pittsburgh with Crosby instead.
Lowe better pray none of these 3 try out like Niinimaki.

Julian said...

Ala Arrested Development :

"well he's really funny"
".... let's hope so"

Anonymous said...

Gagner was hoping to go to a Canadian team - love this kid already.

Anonymous said...

Sam Gagner is HOTT! i think the other are ugly.

Paul said...

Riley Nash has a huge neck.

Anonymous said...

Who cares? Sam Gagner is HOTT!

Kirsten said...

Gagner is much better in person, and seems extremely pleased to have been chosen by the Oilers. I have to give him credit for that much. I've also heard he's a pretty solid pick. The other two, I really have no idea about.

Shmee said...

Is it me, or does Riley Nash look like a long lost Sedin brother?

uni said...

Nah, his head isn't quite as freakishly small and pin-like.

Chris! said...

Riley Nash doesn't so much have a head as he has a face on his neck.

Steve said...

And somewhere, Geoff Dixon sheds a tear.

Jamie said...

Does anybody care about their hockey skills? After a few pucks in the face, any of these kids could turn into Kelly Buchberger or Dave Manson (remember him from the late 90 Oilers?). If you are all so hooked on looks, why not comment on our most obscure draft pick, William Quist, by checking out http://www.taif.nu/content/teams/playerInfo.asp?playerid=29956&leagueId=45
That boy... has some tossed salad for hair!

Anonymous said...

riley is a girafe

Anonymous said...

Just thought I'd add that the Red Line Report had Plante going at #14 and Nash at #17. From what I understand Red Line does a little deeper research (i.e. delving more into a player's character and background) than say, Central Scouting. Just something to consider.

And Alana, I'm glad you didn't use those photos with the mirror'd table thing.