30 January 2007

And then there was four... A study of how all the interesting contestants lost already.


Why vote for Chris!?

This is a true story: the details are fuzzy, but years ago Chris saved another man's life when he heard a loud thump in the next apartment, went in and found some dude collapsed from having mixed ammonia and bleach. Nearly passing out from the fumes himself, Chris dragged the poor bastard outside until he recovered. If I saved someone, people wouldn't hear the end of it (I can see myself now, mid-boast, accidently spittling in some girl's face at a bar), but Chris never brings it up or brags about it -- in fact, I only heard about it recently. That and he has good taste in plaid shirts.

Now, i'm a bit puzzled by the events of the past few weeks being played out in the great hot-off. i'm all for men of mystery (which partially explains my love for the enigmatic hemsky) but how is that lowetide, a man...if he is a man...makes it to the semi-finals when no one has seen what he looks like? how can i lend my support to someone who will not reveal his hotness to the world? on the other end of the spectrum, how is it that a man with a never-ending umbilicus makes it past the first round? i'm still troubled by this. But sanity prevailed and the better (ie. hotter) man won.

but back to the task at hand...Chris! may have nice lips in a "you got a pretty mouth, boy" sort of way, but the porn 'stache is doing nothing for me. grow the hair a bit longer and you've got yourself a poster boy for "CHiPs." so once again, i find myself not so much
voting for Chris! as voting against lowetide. i would like to ask everyone to do the same in protest of the lack of lowetide's hotness verification.

Whatever.

CHRIS KNOCKS OUT LOWETIDE WITH 75% OF THE VOTE!

17 comments:

lowetide said...

BOTH of those gentlemen are quite a bit better looking than me! Clearly my not submitting a photo was a smart move. :-)

I voted for Chris. He's funny, youthful, has a good sense of humor. Judging by the background he looks to be living in clean quarters and he is well groomed.

I would suggest that a girl might want to help him a little with the wall photos (color, theme, and they may be a hair crooked) but he seems like a good egg all around.

chris said...

To be fair, those photos were a hasty addition after the public thrashing I took from the likes of you back when I posted the first pictures of the Friendnasium with just the Robocop painting on the wall. Clearly, I was driven to crooked themelessness.

lowetide said...

Hey I'm onside. You have a quality light fixture there PLUS appear to know how to put together shelving. Unless you have webbed feet or something, you've got something going on.

Lord Bob said...

Vote for Chris. As a man who is rampantly letting facial hair flourish up all over his face like mould on a loaf of bread you leave out when you go home for Christmas, I have profound empathy for him. And granted, his glasses may be stupid but at least he's not all "ooh ooh Marc-Antoine Pouliot is awesome MacTavish shouldn't play so many rookies this is a picture of some old guy none of you have ever heard of here's some tangentially-related anecdote about a guy who played four games with the Oakland Seals one time blah blah blah NO I'M NOT BITTER!"

(^--- yeah, joke :P. I did vote for Chris, though, because I like the beard.)

Alana said...

So, we have a label for "Chris" now? I'm going to have to start putting together some posts on Chelios, or O'Donnell (rawr), or de Burgh, I guess.

pickles said...

facial hair is only acceptable during road trips and playoffs. however, i do agree, it is a quality light fixture. chris it is.

Lord Bob said...

I'm going to have to start putting together some posts on Chelios, or O'Donnell (rawr), or de Burgh, I guess.

Or Pronger!

...no?

Loxy said...

Lord Bob:

You're banned.

Blasphemy will not be tolerated on this site.

sacamano said...

I'm voting Lowetide for the same reason I voted Rory.

To stick it to The Man. Or something.

Sizzle said...

Those two dudes in Lowetide's spot look like they need a ride under a canvas canopy back to the Garrison. He's obviously satisfied with being King of the O'Sphere, and a great leader defers honor whenever able.

Chris! it is - and good luck in the finals! At least he took the touque off for the picture. We know he's hilarious and seems sentimental, with all those knick-knacks and what not, so that's hot!

But will it be enough? mike w lives in that realm. Is a image up-do in order?

Anonymous said...

ammonia + bleach makes chlorine gas...

on another note: mystery men always seem to take my heart. But in a creepy non gay way

Jordi said...

How not close.

I guess it's the bearded lady.

Graham said...

i find it hilarious that lowetide's done everything in his power to lose the hot-off, going as far as to actively campaign for his opponents, and he still made it to the semi finals.

Ladysir said...

It's a good thing you didn't use those sailor hat photos or the ones with the kitty, buddy. Clearly, the best strategy is to not try at all.

Chris! said...

Thanks, jordi!

dawgbone said...

Nothing like the scent of peeing in a freshly bleached toilet...

Sherry said...

Well I'm glad the more family-oriented picture won. Chris! Just looks so happy...and a little bit like Dallas Green.