25 January 2007

Round 2, day 4: Puppies, kitties, and uh...Jesus


From Shawn:
I officially have to bring out the big guns.

I told myself I'd never take things to this point. I told myself I'd never go this far. But drastic times call for drastic action.

If one dog isn't enough to take down a naked man only one thing can...

...TWO dogs!

I'm sorry, you forced my hand.

I - like the Edmonton Oilers - know that when it's clutch time you have to take things up a notch.

Here I am with my little puppy Mowgli and the dog I puppysat this summer, Tinker. Not only are they cute dogs, but they're named after characters in Disney movies. Can you resist the cuteness?

Oh, I guess I'm there too. Here you can see my ability to grow a playoff beard. That stubble comes from a mere 24 hours without shaving. My blogger profile photo should prove that I can grow a mean playoff beard, and if you visit oilcountryontario.blogspot.com and scroll to the bottom you will see that playoff beard in action from the Motor City.

What else can I say? Did Loxy mention that I burned a mini-Pronger jersey? Good women of Hot Oil, if I signed a long term deal with you I wouldn't demand out after the first year! Nor would I sleep with the goalie's wife. I'm a one Oiler-Fan Man.

...now if I win I need to find a few more dogs.



From Pleasure Motors:
Testimonials for Pleasure Motors:

Jesus: "The man is a walking argument against taking a vow ofchastity. When God said, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' I think He was talking directly to PM."

Kitten: Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Purrr. Purrrrrrrrrrrrr.Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Purrrrrrr. (plays with string being dangled infront of face) Purrrrrrrrrrr.


In a surprise upset, Shawn wins. The men cry, the ladies cheer and if Shawn doesn't do something amazing next round, he'll just be another Cinderella Story.

39 comments:

mike w said...

Good lord!

Puppies are cute -- TOO cute in a pandering kind of way.

Creepy nudity with creative use of third jersey and PhotoShop is bold and gold.

I'm putting my vote in for the nude dude.

smitten said...

Well - you needed to pull out the guns instead of those wee balls of fluff. When the owners go away you really can take off the visor. Nice try, but you're in really deep.

---

Hallelujah brother. Bringin' the heat. A burger & beer belly slung between the Lord and a killer. All that's missing are the nail holes.

T-tssss.

Alana said...

That dog's visor is hilarious.

lowetide said...

Who is the naked guy standing next to Ryan Smyth?

mike w said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

That chick has horrible tits.

Shawn said...

The kitten was a good touch.

This is clearly far from over, it's only an 8 vote difference!

Mike I think you're the first person to ever tell me I have a strong jaw.

mike w said...

>Mike I think you're the first person to ever tell me I have a strong jaw.

This is the thing men generally don't tell other men, except on Oilogosphere Hot Offs, I guess.

Anonymous said...

ginger pubes!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I can't vote for someone who'd put a hat on his dog, sorry.

Shawn said...

Hmm yes the hat thing... not my dog, not my decision just FYI.

Sherry said...

TWO puppies? Now you're just being selfish!

But that puppy has a visor. For the record I voted for the puppy :P

Pleasure Motors said...

Nothing says "you're ugly" like getting your naked kitten/Jesus picture trounced in an online poll.

Shawn said...

Dude you're winning now!

I've lost all my momentum, I'm going down like Paul Martin! Or Tommy Salo's wife.

Jordi said...

I may hate goldfish but darn those puppies are cute. I'd be those people who'd buy a puppy just so you can look after em!

Pleasure Motors said...

Hmmm....it seems as though pointing out you're losing seems to vault you into the lead at this thing so: damn, yo! What's with the disrespekkin' Jesus?! Or something. Vote Me.

Loxy said...

It's so close! Do I let this run until Sunday?


Yes, because I'm at a sportsnet seminar all day tomorrow.

Shawn said...

oh geez cut the tension with a knife

uni said...

Hmm. This is a real difficult decision we have here. The guy in the wholesome picture with two adorable puppies that he's taking care of. Or the guy who's naked with a cat about to do gods only knows what.

Yah...I'm going to have to go Shawn on this one man, the beastiality angle is a little much for me PM.

uni said...

Kitten: Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Purrr. Purrrrrrrrrrrrr.Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Purrrrrrr. (plays with string being dangled infront of face) Purrrrrrrrrrr.

Also I sure hope that "string" isn't some sort of euphemism.

Pleasure Motors said...

Wholesome? Look at where he has those puppies.

Lord Bob said...

Sorry, Pleasure ol' chum, this one was pretty well a dead heat of hotness in my mind, so I decided to let the snooty atheist part of my brain vote and he immediately railed about organised religion being the cause of all the world's evils and how only L. Ron Hubbard has the true answer so I cast my ballot for the puppies.

McLea said...

We have a naked guy with one arm over Jesus, and another guy holding a puppie that's wearing a visor, and people are voting for the latter? Unbelievable.

In my humble opinion, if you are willing to get naked for the Hot Oil Hot Off, then you probably deserve to win, and if you put a visor on your freaking dog, you definitely deserve to lose.

Shawn said...

Hey man I all ready said the visor wasn't my call man! My dog wasn't wearing one...

pickles said...

i don't like cats. while kittens may be cute, they grow up to be cats. did i mention that i don't like cats?

i'm not much of a "lap dog" lover, either, but the tiny yappy dogs seem to love me. i can't figure it out. it's like how animals go directly to people that are allergic to them. but i digress...

i can't vote for someone who has a belly button reminiscent of a black hole (as in the "even light can't escape it" black hole). besides, i don't even think that's really jesus.

so i'm about to do something quintessentially canadian: i'm not so much voting FOR shawn, as i'm voting AGAINST pleasure motors.

grace said...

you girls really are falling down on the job regarding the "squee" factor.

You haven't posted the new pics of Jarret in his funky looking shorts cavaroting with Rachel Hunter during the all-star break!

For shame!

Anonymous said...

i am wondering if pleasure motors attended the grace lutheran preschool on 17th in a certain northern town, about 20 years ago. I distinctly recall a kid who quietly removed all his clothes every day at nap time so he was stark naked when the lights came on, only to immediately destroy any calmness and silence the caregivers had worked so hard to achieve. i just can't remember if this kid liked kittens....

at any rate pm gets my vote!

Tyler said...

There is no way that Shawn's votes are legit. I mean a) this has just been a huge popularity contest, b) PM writes for what I'm pretty sure is the most popular Oilers blog, c) he's fucking taking nude pictures with Jesus to try and win this and d) I've never really read Shawn's site or even seen anyone quote it anything - I'm sure it's good, it's just not all that mainstream, even within the already super-obscure Oilogosphere.

Not saying it's wrong, just saying. Ro-ry. Ro-ry. Ro-ry.

Plus, the dog has a fucking hat on.

Jordi said...

Hey Shawn got those votes for trying to appeal to the ladies! Or bisexual men! If he likes dogs and people like dogs they vote for him! It's a hot off man, not "my site is bigger than yours" contest.

In the Oilers hot off, people were complaining that people weren't truly voting for who they felt was physically attractive. And here people are scolding each other for not voting for who they felt had the most bizarre image or description.

Blah.

Shawn said...

Bi-sexual men? Whatever works!

My site clearly isn't in the league of Covered in Oil I'll say that. It's new, not updated nearly as often and not nearly as comprehensive.

Tyler said...

Jordi, I'm just saying that if you review the patterns in hot off voting, but this one and the Oilers one, there's a strong indication that personal popularity matters. Lowetide is blowing people away. He may well be a handsome man (in fact, I assume that he looks like Santa) but no one fucking knows. Ryan Smyth got votes in the hot off.

In fairness to Shawn (and I thought I posted this last night), his site looks great. His posts are intelligent, well thought out and well written. On the flip side there are three of them, so I can't see where the popularity is coming from.

This entire process is fraught with irregularities.

Shawn said...

Well I'll tell you right now if it was a best blog or best blogger vote Covered in Oil and PM would destroy me.

This is just a silly contest for fun, not a judgement of worth.

Lord Bob said...

Yes. Damn that Lowetide. It's obviously a fix job. I demand that the guy who finished second in his first-round matchup, whoever that might be, should advance to the final. Particularly if he submitted a particularly bad picture of himself in his Blue Jays hat, which he may have done.

(On a more serious note, perhaps the writers should just attach a note "anybody using the results of the Hot Off as the basis of a scientific survey or experiment will get what they deserve.")

Anonymous said...

Nice going ladies. This is what happens when there's a 1:10 man:woman ratio in a community. What will they do to win your hearts? Pose naked with Jesus?

Amazing.

This photo is an internet asset, like goatse, and tubgirl before it. Definitely gets my vote.

PM - if you lose, maybe try again on amibearornot?

Pleasure Motors said...

I don't think I have enough body hair to be bear, actually. I mean, the pleasure trail notwithstanding, my chest is a fairly fallow wasteland.

In any case, though, let's not bring up "voting irregularities": my naked ass lost, which just goes to prove what I said on the first day of this thing: Nothing says "you're ugly" like getting your naked kitten/Jesus picture trounced in an online poll.

Someone, hug me.

Jordi said...

PM I'd hug you and give you a free massage if the clothes go on. To be honest, I would've voted for you if you promised less nudity next time.

Girls want to know you for your personality!

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