14 January 2007

Oilogosphere Hot-Off: Day 7

Sacamano

Oilogosphere pioneer and Matt's better side over at the Battle of Alberta until he relocated to Siberia, Sacamano has this to say for himself:

Favourite Oiler: Radek Dvorak

Hair Loss Rate: Steady on the dome, but it is counteracted by the negative loss rate on the back.

Likes: Grey Cup Parties, Christmas, Houseboating, Chariots of Fire, Journey, Curling, and the smell of gasoline.

Dislikes: New Year's Eve Parties, Andie MacDowell ["word." -- alana], The Hockey Hall of Fame, People who refer to players by their numbers rather than their names ["word to that, too." -- alana], and cd cases.

What I Look For in a Lady: A woman who is about 5'3 1/4" in height with curly brown hair, a heavy slap shot, an irrational love of Raffi Torres, and who is not afraid to play dirty in the corners.

Extra-Special Hot Attributes: I have a half-thumb

Moto: "Get a Redhead in Bed"

Favourite Pickup Move: Steamroller Stall.

Go Oil!

RiversQ
Pictured here with our very own Loxy, IOF contributor RiversQ didn't submit a profile for this contest. So ... it looks like he enjoys beer. That's definitely something I can get behind.

Pleasure Motors

Regarding the (awesome) photo, PM says: "I just
know you're going to use the crazy apeman photo of Sacamano, and
there's simply no way to compete with that, except by going nuclear." Here's everything else you want to know about Covered in Oil's youngest contributor:

Favourite Oiler: Marc-Andre Bergeron. One day Oilers fans will come
to appreciate mistake-prone offensive defencemen, and on that day I
will be riding on the shoulders of Bergeron and Tom Poti, singing
"It's Raining Men."

Hair loss: I have so much, thick, lustrous hair, I regularly donate
it to the SPCA so they can re-fur burned kittens.

Look for in a lady: Currently "off the market," so mostly discretion.
A left-handed shot would be nice, as well.

Trash talk:
Sacamano and RiversQ have a collective tattoo across
their back and chest that, when they stand next to each other, says
"CALGARY" on the front, and "RULES!" on the back, if Sacamano is
standing to Rivers' right. I will not go into what it says below the
belt line.


Despite a strong push by RiversQ, Pleasure Motors takes it with 45% of the vote
. (And we all feel a little shame inside)

21 comments:

sacamano said...

Oh man, nuclear is right. My retinas have melted away, and yet, I'd look at that photo of PM every day of the week. In fact, I plan to.

Looks like a clean sweep for CinO.

sacamano said...

Of course, if PM's photo becomes known as "Typical Oilers Fan" like this guy's has for the Maple Leafs, we will all know who to blame.

Andy Grabia said...

Wow. Wow. Wow. WOW. WOW. HOLY FUCKING WOW.

Anonymous said...

Strangely, not the most awkward photo of PM I've ever seen. In fact, I remember taking some photos that are only marginally less nekkid for the paper.

Oh God, this is bring up some ugly flashbacks.

Anonymous said...

At this point RiversQ is still giving PM a run for his money. People do realize that RQ is the guy in the picture right?

(Though if not, I appreciate the votes.)

Pleasure Motors said...

if PM's photo becomes known as "Typical Oilers Fan"

Wow, sacs, I hadn't even considered that. I may be winning the battle to lose the war, here.

Also: For sale: One slightly used Oilers hat.

Anonymous said...

I think Grabia's already said what I have to say.

Anonymous said...

Ditto.

Apparently the stakes are being raised. Can't wait to see what we get in Round two.

Anonymous said...

Round two: no hat.

Anonymous said...

Pleasure Motors is the clear victor.

lowetide said...

Oh my.

Anonymous said...

There are no words. I don't know where this is taking us, but frankly I'm affraid.

I voted for Sacamano partially as a defense machanism for what this other victory could mean for the rest of us!

pickles said...

sacamano - have nothing against redheads but i do i really have to love raffi? that's just disturbing.

riversQ - does he drink guinness? cuz if he does i will vote for him 10 more times just on principle.

pleasure motors - a little too strong a resemblence to the hanson brothers for my liking.

uni said...

What's wrong with this Andie MacDowell person? And there are no winners in a nuclear war PM...only losers.

Anonymous said...

I can't vote for PM. His body looks too much like that of the boy that dumped me this weekend.

Anonymous said...

Loxy, that's a beautiful backhanded compliment there. Maybe just the backhand part...


No offense PM, I'm pretty damn close to being your body double over here. I mean, uh, from the waist up. From what I can see.

Let's just stop it right there.

slipper said...

Umm, had Andie MacDowell been given one more decent script in her prime she would have been the Meryl Streep of her day. How anyone can watch Groundhog Day and not fall in love with her is beyond me.

Pleasure Motors said...

No offense PM, I'm pretty damn close to being your body double over here. I mean, uh, from the waist up. From what I can see.

None taken, Julian: I'm comfortable with the meat package on offer. It is the stuff that slothfulness and relentless self-abuse are made of.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone seen Beauty and the Geek?

Pleasure Motors said...

By "shame" do you mean "horny"?

Colby Cosh said...

I think I just invented laughvomiting.