03 June 2008

Now accepting submissions.

You may have noticed an absence in blogging here at Hot Oil. You may have also noticed an absence of the Oilers in the playoffs. There may be a connection.

With the playoffs wrapping up in the very near future, it's time to start looking towards next year and the future of Hot Oil.

It's time to add a new recruit.

If you are interested, please submit the following information in the comments:
1. Name
2. Favourite Oiler
3. Reason why you think you'd make a good blogger.
4. Short bio about yourself
5. Will you be a guest on my resurrected podcast?
6. What is your nickname?
7. What clever nickname have you come up with for an oiler?
8. If you were having drinks with Shawn Horcoff, who would pick up the tab and what would be on it?
9. How are you related to an Oiler?
10. If you were trapped in a burning building, which Oiler would save you?

We are an equal opportunity employer. We do not pay, unless you can figure out a way to make money off this. Yes, boys are welcome to submit an application.. in fact, I think Hot Oil could use a little bit of sausage.


Anonymous said...

1. C. Spencer James

2. Selmar Odelein. Oh, you want a current Oiler? Then Ethan Moreau.

3. I would be a good blogger because: a) I don't currently expend any blogging energy anywhere else; 2) I promise not to send you any more polygamist Oiler-related marriage proposals (mostly because you never responded to my first one); and iii) I can provide my perspective as an Oilers fan in the nation's capital...where Oilers fans are few (but proud).

4. I'm 6'2". 29 years old. I still play road hockey on weekends which gives me weekly reasons (as if I needed one) to don my Oilers jersey. When not painting my bedroom in Oilers colours, I spend my time explaining to my friends why everything goes with orange and blue. I'm secretly jealous of a good friend of mine who has an 80s era Oilers wristband.

5. You had me at 'guest'.

6. Spence. It's not really a nickname so much as a shortened version of my middle name, but nobody uses my first name.

7. Cogli-Oh no!

8. I would pick up the tab. There would several J├Ągerbombs and whatever beer is brewed locally in the particular establishment we happen to be in.

9. No blood relations, but a friend of an elementary school friend moved from the small Ontario town where I grew up to Banff, where he lived next door to Glenn "Loose Cannon" Anderson's cottage. And while not a former Oiler, I also have purchased drinks for Gino Odjick who received an instigator penalty from a fight against Kelly Buchberger on December 20, 1990.

10. Kyle Brodziak. Many people don't know this, but he is flame retardant.

References available upon request.

I can be reached at spenceitup "at" hotmail.com

Lord Bob said...

1. Ben Massey (neither a lord nor a Bob, I know, I know...)

2. Whichever former St. Albert Saint currently wears copper and blue: in this case, Fernando Pisani. What can I say, I'm a sucker for relocated AJHL franchises.

3. Because my now-ignored blog was so seldom updated that I'm due for a bunch of posts.

Er, wait, that's a crappy answer.

Probably because I talk too much and have too many random thoughts in my head. In actual conversation this can be fatal, but in blogging it can be a positive boon.

4. Born December 24, 1986 in St. Albert, Alberta. Won intercontinental wrestling championship at the age of six months as part of a tag team named "the Fighting Foetuses" with a young Andrew Cogliano. After living in hockeyless Australia for two years of my childhood, became an Oilers fan just in time for the dog years of the mid-nineties. After a certain night in 1997, invented time machine so I could travel back to 1973 and be Todd Marchant's godfather. Moved to Victoria at age 17, where I have lived and pretended to work ever since. Now live on Barry Fraser's couch in Mexico being bankrolled by retired Swiss banker Lester Mittendorf. Half of those facts are true.

5. I agreed to be a guest on the first one before it died and that agreement remains, though with the usual caveat that I sound like a duck with a sinus infection.

6. My nickname is basically a shortened version of my real name. Which is actually the ideal nickname qualification for an Oilers blogger (HEMMER! HORC! STORTS! It's the Oilers on 630 CHED!)

7. I always liked Brad "the Rifle" Winchester, which I started trying to force on people during the last playoff run. I also count myself as one of the nine hundred billion simultaneous inventors of Matt "the Greene Machine", because I like old Toronto-Dominion Bank ATMs.

8. I picture Shawn and I sitting at a busy bar in Edmonton and people coming up to Shawn and saying he's "awesome" and "so cool" and "hey, let me buy you a drink" and as they're going into that if they're drunk enough I'd slide a "I'll take a Black Russian with that" in (Shawn would go along with it, he's cool like that) and so I'd manage to pawn the costs of my high-functioning alcoholism off to the bar as a whole. Also, if I at any point drink enough to accidentally order a White Russian, if Horc doesn't say "I'll tell Grebs you said hi" we're not friends anymore.

9. I don't have any Oiler in me. But I'd like some.

10. Dustin Penner, because when I was leaping out of the window I'd want to land on the softest target available and I'd be better off with him than a trampoline.

Loxy said...

I would like you both to write a practice blog post. Any topic, anything...

Send it to me at single dot erin at gmail dot com

Shelly said...

OMG Bob I love you!!! Loxy let him do it! Or both, more is fun, right?

Penner & the burning building ROTFLMAO. H says I'll never be able to hide what I was up to if all my hair on top is worn off....
I would love to order a White Russian, except NOT Oil....I have my own.(yikes. Looking around for any executioners....)
You are too damn funny!!!

Anonymous said...

1. Randie
2. Pisreene
3. I can type
4. 17 but 18 in septemer, fan for 4 years, knows hockey, talk about them all the time why not blog about it.
5. why not
6.Randall, randis, rand-le, chief.
7.Smidle, Penncogagnemsky, Gagnemsky, Gillert, PIsreene, Gagli-iliencross, Gagliano
8. TEQUILLA!!!!!! I like my shots... and probably me but then he would be like no i have the money. Ill do it and i have no objection to free drinks
9.I'm Not, but i'm kinda related to Chicagos Brent Seabrook.
10. Greener because we have a specail bond that only family can have...

Anonymous said...

Sorry I haven't sent in my sample blog yet. It is the off-season and I've been busy training (read: doing my day job). Don't worry - when I send it, you won't be disappointed.

Kirsten said...

OMG, I'd totally do this, does it count against me that I'm an American and already have a Wild blog? I love the Oilers, I do...

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