29 October 2007

I Hate You All.

Through Facebook campaigning, my boyfriend Dwayne Roloson has been ruthlessly cut from this competition, and I get the feeling that the rest of the Oil will fall to the same fate if these Marty-faithful Facebookers (who are not regular readers of this blog, may I add) are called to action each round. Which would be BORING. Shall we just call it a day and declare Marty the winner now?

If you don't think so, please feel free to vote in today's showdown. Sanderson versus Staios. This is the battle for the basement, folks, so vote wisely.

Staios says no to drugs and destroys Sanderson.

25 October 2007

Why do goalies always win? Another day of the Hot-Off.

Marty Reasoner: All substance, some style. Girls love a guy with a sense of humour, it's true!

Dwayne Roloson: Doesn't have an "A" on his jersey. But, Girls love a goalie.

This is a battle that divides the girls at Hot-Oil. But since I wrote the post, you can see which way it leans.

Vote for Marty. He would vote for you. And he wouldn't vote anonymously, cause he knows we don't count those votes.

SIGH. Marty wins, you dinks.

It's the Prez's birthday!

Topless Ulanov!

20 October 2007

How do you like your P? With an enner or an isani?

What's hotter? A -2 rating or serious gastrointestinal distress?

In other news, the roster page has finally been updated. The team is a lot smiley-er this year, so I'm guessing the photographer used a puppet of some sort. Overall, the photos are pretty good (Brodziak looks HOT, yo), but sweet mother of god what happened to Roy and Pouliot? Not even my junior high photo where I had a perm and braces was this bad.

In other other news, GOILERS!

No Poop for you. Penner wins.

18 October 2007

If they could see me now, that little gang of mine..

MacT's blender is a funny thing. First, you have to be lucky enough to get put in the blender. And then, after "liquify" and "frappe", sometimes Robbie Schremp comes out on top.

After failing to make the team coming out of camp, he managed a hot-oil hot-start in Springfield (has anyone made Simpsons jokes yet?) and now finds himself with a top spot, playing against a bottom team.

This is likely the best chance that Captain America will get all season. The expectations are low enough that he can meet them. The Oilers are desperate enough to give him significant playing time.

Good Luck!

Good hockey players skate on their feet!

Loves ya! Kiss Kiss!

17 October 2007

Captain Injury vs. Alternate

Shawn Horcoff has mismatched eyes. Ethan Moreau has no front teeth. Horcoff actually manages to play hockey once in a while. Morea looks like he's a religious man. Black gold! Texas tea! Vote now in the comments section!

Keep your filthy paws out of the anonymous bin.


15 October 2007

That Day in 1983

Now that Robbie Schremp has deleted me from his facebook (Hi Rob! We know you're reading! Hope you learn to stay on your feet next game, kiddo), I'm ushering a new era of stealing photos, but giving credit for them. So, here are some finds from flickr, the photo sharing site. If you click on the photos, you'll actually see where I got them from! Huzzah!

Fact: Tom Gilbert is the same age as Ales Hemsky
Fact: Both are on the Oilers
Fact: Both are male
Fact: Both have lightish-coloured hair.
Question: Are they just the same person?

Tom "who is that Laddy guy anyways" Gilbert or Ales "my car is named after him" Hemsky?

A close call, but Hemsky still drives over Ulanov Gilbert.

Player of the week!

Too bad if he ever wants to be an Oiler again, he has to clear waivers again.

Your AHL player of the week...

Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor! Thor!

Or maybe the whole waivers thing is a scam... Here are Allan's comments (from the comments section):

13.3 Re-Entry Waivers. A Player who required Regular Waivers may not be Recalled without first clearing Re-Entry Waivers, in accordance with Section 50.9(g) of this Agreement.

50.9(g) Minor League Compensation. Neither the salaries nor signing bonuses paid to minor league Players shall be counted against a Club's Upper Limit or the Players' Share. For a Player on a One-Way NHL Contract or a Two-Way Contract with a Minor League Salary and compensation that could be earned in excess of the following amounts:
2007-2007: $100,000
the following rules shall apply:
(ii) To the extent the Player does require Waivers to be Loaned to a minor league affiliate, he cannot be Loaned or Recalled to the NHL parent Club during the same League Year without also clearing a new Re-Entry Waiver procedure, pursuant to which the Player can be claimed by another NHL Club for fifty percent of the contract's remaining amounts to be paid, with the balance to be paid by and charged to the waiving NHL Club....

Patrick Thoresen is on a two-way deal (any player under 25 has to sign a two way, entry-level deal), and the maximum minor-league compensation for recent drafts is well under the $100,000 cutoff (Article 9), so he should be exempt from re-entry waivers.

I'd love to have someone show me how I'm wrong, because I'm worried that this is another display of CBA-related incompetence by the Oilers, like "We can sign Kharamnov without drafting him" and "I didn't know the salary cap would go up."

13 October 2007


Welcome to Round 2! Up first we have two promising young 'uns who are ready to battle TO THE DEATH for your affection. Hot Oil favourite Brodziak is all like, "Bring it, Gagner," and Gagner is like, "Oh, I'll bring it. Don't worry," and Brodziak is all like, "I never do." IT"S ON! VOTE NOW!


10 October 2007

I Love a Man in Uniform

My boyfriend Dwayne Roloson has been named an honorary police officer with the St. Paul Police. Rawr. So many dirty jokes; so little time.

*Thanks to courtney for the heads-up. Keep scrolling down to vote in the hot-off.

Moving right along...

Loxy is dead, y'all. At least, that's the only valid reason that I can come up with for her missing her turn posting the next hot-off battle. I'll understand if you need to take a moment to mourn her passing.


OKAY! We've made an executive decision to give a free pass to the remaining Oilers who are facing minor-league losers in the first round. Not making the team is decidedly not hot. As such, Roli, Sanderson, Staios, Stoll, Torres, and Ulanov (?) get pushed through. Rad? I thought so.

Hold your horses, there, kiddies -- we're not on to the second round just yet. I present to you: the epic battle of



02 October 2007

Marc (sans Antoine) Pouliot vs. Marty Reasoner

Today's battle is between a pimply teenager and an extremely photogenic 3rd/4th line centre. The former appears to be trying to anglicise his name (or perhaps big JFJ "suggested" to him that only one man on the team may have a hyphenated name). The latter already has gone by the same name for quite some time. If you don't vote for Pouliot, he'll come to your house and give you mono. If you don't vote for Reasoner, a certain blogger may come to your house and put toothpaste on all of your doorknobs. Choose wisely.


Oh Captain, New Captain

Dear Oilers players,

Better looking people do prosper.


The Fans

01 October 2007

Behind the Glasses

There was an extensive profile on superfox MacT in the Journal yesterday. It's an interesting read, if only for the shout-out to Hot Oil and its commenters:

Part of his local fame, with female fans at least, derives from his looks. Readers of the website Hot-Oil.blogspot.com recently voted him as the hottest Oiler in team history, dubbing him the Silver Fox. "Not only is he hot, he has the best vocabulary -- you'll always learn a new word listening to him (and oh, what a voice)," said one smitten fan.

"MacT has a George Clooney-esque deliciousness about him," wrote another.

There you have it -- MacT's hotness is officially news!

*A big thanks to Scarlett for the heads-up.