Day 4: A Vote for DP is a Vote for Cheeseburgers

Here we are at Day 4 of the 2008 Hot-Off, and we have entered the realm of the Ds. You're all familiar with Dustin Penner (above), who will appeal to the ladies who find slow, out of shape "athletes" attractive, but what of the rest of this bracket? Let's have a look, shall we?

David Rohlfs

Who the hell is this guy? Apparently he's a blueliner, and was acquired by the Oil because he's a big dude (6-foot-3, 234 lbs). He's a college boy (U Michigan), so your parents would probably like him. Is that hot?

Denis Grebeshkov

Denis, here, has actually seen some ice time with the Oil so that gives him a bit of an advantage. He also brings about fond memories of MAB getting shipped out of town, and once played for the Lokomotiv, the Prez's favourite Russian team. What's not to like?

Devan Dubnyk

Devan is a ridiculously tall (6-foot-6) goalie who's been in our system for ages and probably won't be seeing any play this year, once again. He also sort of reminds me of Winchester. Are you into ladylike giants? Vote for Devan.

DUSTIN PENNER WITH 72% OF THE VOTE

Comments

Chris! said…
How can I justify voting against cheeseburgers?
doritogrande said…
If we're getting technical, Rohlfs is a forward who can play defense. This brings back memories of Toby Petersen, none of which were pleasant on the eyes.

Dubnyk.
Lord Bob said…
Who'da thought that Penner would be only the second fattest and slowest player in his first round matchup?

(My understanding is that Rohlfs' first pro contract will be paid in bacon.)

Anyway, I'm with Chris!, to the extent that I'm pissed off that he stole my joke and I can't think of another one.
Loxy said…
Mmm... Tall....
Bethany said…
DUDE, I love cheeseburgers, and Penner, so I am totally set.
grease trap said…
Sadly, I discovered Penner is a really good guy so I can't feel good about thrashing him in ascerbic asides and snide comments.

Fortunately, I'm on board with cheeseburgers and the wheezing, half-step-behind-play they lead to.

Penner it is.
DMFB said…
Whatever happened to "No Fatties"?
Loxy said…
I think Isbister lowered... (or would it be raised?) the standards for pudge.
Aminah said…
I'm going to vote for Grebeshkov because this photo is misleading.

At first I thought he was a little old Russian man but when I met him in real life, he is actually just a 20-something Russian kid who makes ugly when viewed through a camera lens. He's not old, he's just not photogenic!
T. said…
I know I'm too late but I have two things to say:

Penner up close this year = REALLY not fat. Still big but so not fat.

And I agree about Grebs just not being photogenic. I don't know how it happens but it's uncanny how much better looking he is when not on camera.
Anonymous said…
Damn. Missed the voting in this round, but Penner won anyway, so all is alright in my world.
Saw him at the Joey Moss Cup this year and he looked good. Big. First thing I noticed was he's kinda barrel chested, so perhaps he'll always look 'fat' to some people. I also thought he has very nice eyes.
RoliLover

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